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As the lazy afternoon sun began casting its long orange hued
shadows into her living room, my mom and I sat and chatted about all different
kinds of subjects. We had compared notes
on the programs we had been keeping up on and the chat moved onto kids and just
how hilarious life is when they are around.
We recalled the stories about Rich and his infamous KFC washroom tale
and laughed till we both nearly cried. I
noticed how the years had really begun to show around her eyes and mouth when
she laughed. She had not done a lot of
that in the last few years; laugh so hard that she can hardly catch her
breath. I shared my experience about the
young girl in VBS who had not really heard the gospel story of how Jesus died,
was buried and rose again 3 days later and how this darling girl said, “Do you
mean to tell me that he, (Jesus), was faking it the whole time?????” Again mom laughed till she had tears.
We talked about grandkids and how it could be a while before
I see any grandbabies. With her wisdom
from a life full of experience she said it was certainly better if the kids
wait to have families if they are not ready yet. At this point the gate of opportunity opened
to the secret garden of my memories as a little kid being raised by a single
mom who had no one to really help her out.
I had agreed with her assessment and said...
“You and I certainly know
what it is like to have families before we were really ready to do it.”
“Well at least you had a husband to help you.”, she
replied. There was nothing critical in
the statement just honest reflection.
“Yeah, no I know Mom.”
I said tenderly. “ I really do
not know how you ever did it. Taking
care of us all those years, when it was just so not accepted to be divorced. I know how ostracized you were in our
community. Yet you looked after us as
best you knew how!”
“It must have been really hard for Les and Ron, and you too.” She managed in a quiet voice.
As the emotions of 47 years began to well up into my chest I
looked her in the eyes and said ...
" Momma, I have never really ever told you
just how incredibly proud I am of you! I
remember when we were just little and you had taken us down town to the
grocery. Our cupboards were completely
bare and you were going to ask the owner of the grocery store if they would
give you credit just until the end of the week.
When he refused you came out of the store crying and I had never seen
you cry before.”
My mom’s face was stricken with grief at the memory or maybe
that I had remembered that day so vividly myself.
“I remember that the Jerome girl had said that she would
vouch for you and we were able to get a few things to take home.” My words tumbled out in a heap. “Momma, I know that you sacrificed so much to
be able to give us even the simplest of things! I will never forget the year at
Christmas when I came out of my room.....”
The words caught in my throat as I struggled to share the memory, “ and
there stood the purple banana seat bike I had asked for and the tag said from
Santa! Oh Momma you sacrificed so very
much!”
A life time of memory and unfinished business was dealt with
in a short afternoon. I told my mom just
how deeply I love her and that I was sorry for ever hurting her in any
way. I told her that I appreciated her
love, her life and that she gave us love the best way she knew to give.
As I got ready to leave and I hugged her into
my chest and told her again that I love her, she chuckled and said thank you
for making her laugh. What of the rest
of our talk you might wonder? Well that
is water now gone under the bridge. My
momma forgave me for any of my transgressions years ago and my humble expression
of gratitude for just a few of the many things she did for me as a kid was
accepted with simple dignity. I am so
grateful for a heart that discerns deeper than what is seen on the
surface. Peace is mine this evening as I
thank the Lord once again for giving me the life that I have been given. I have found joy because I have known sorrow
and today that sorrow has finally been put to rest!
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