August afternoons, chats and reconciled childhood memories!

As the lazy afternoon sun began casting its long orange hued shadows into her living room, my mom and I sat and chatted about all different kinds of subjects.  We had compared notes on the programs we had been keeping up on and the chat moved onto kids and just how hilarious life is when they are around.  We recalled the stories about Rich and his infamous KFC washroom tale and laughed till we both nearly cried.  I noticed how the years had really begun to show around her eyes and mouth when she laughed.  She had not done a lot of that in the last few years; laugh so hard that she can hardly catch her breath.  I shared my experience about the young girl in VBS who had not really heard the gospel story of how Jesus died, was buried and rose again 3 days later and how this darling girl said, “Do you mean to tell me that he, (Jesus), was faking it the whole time?????”  Again mom laughed till she had tears. 

We talked about grandkids and how it could be a while before I see any grandbabies.  With her wisdom from a life full of experience she said it was certainly better if the kids wait to have families if they are not ready yet.  At this point the gate of opportunity opened to the secret garden of my memories as a little kid being raised by a single mom who had no one to really help her out.  I had agreed with her assessment and said... 

“You and I certainly know what it is like to have families before we were really ready to do it.”

“Well at least you had a husband to help you.”, she replied.  There was nothing critical in the statement just honest reflection.

“Yeah, no I know Mom.”  I said tenderly.  “ I really do not know how you ever did it.  Taking care of us all those years, when it was just so not accepted to be divorced.  I know how ostracized you were in our community.  Yet you looked after us as best you knew how!”

“It must have been really hard for Les and Ron, and you too.”  She managed in a quiet voice.

As the emotions of 47 years began to well up into my chest I looked her in the eyes and said ...

" Momma, I have never really ever told you just how incredibly proud I am of you!  I remember when we were just little and you had taken us down town to the grocery.  Our cupboards were completely bare and you were going to ask the owner of the grocery store if they would give you credit just until the end of the week.  When he refused you came out of the store crying and I had never seen you cry before.”

My mom’s face was stricken with grief at the memory or maybe that I had remembered that day so vividly myself.

 

“I remember that the Jerome girl had said that she would vouch for you and we were able to get a few things to take home.”  My words tumbled out in a heap.  “Momma, I know that you sacrificed so much to be able to give us even the simplest of things! I will never forget the year at Christmas when I came out of my room.....”  The words caught in my throat as I struggled to share the memory, “ and there stood the purple banana seat bike I had asked for and the tag said from Santa!  Oh Momma you sacrificed so very much!”

A life time of memory and unfinished business was dealt with in a short afternoon.  I told my mom just how deeply I love her and that I was sorry for ever hurting her in any way.  I told her that I appreciated her love, her life and that she gave us love the best way she knew to give.  

 As I got ready to leave and I hugged her into my chest and told her again that I love her, she chuckled and said thank you for making her laugh.  What of the rest of our talk you might wonder?  Well that is water now gone under the bridge.  My momma forgave me for any of my transgressions years ago and my humble expression of gratitude for just a few of the many things she did for me as a kid was accepted with simple dignity.  I am so grateful for a heart that discerns deeper than what is seen on the surface.  Peace is mine this evening as I thank the Lord once again for giving me the life that I have been given.  I have found joy because I have known sorrow and today that sorrow has finally been put to rest!

My experiences have taught me, kids help you build character.......

When our second born was about 7 years old, we were painfully aware of his uncanny sense of humor. Totally inappropriate and it would leave a person either laughing in stitches, or blinking in complete disbelief. Our son, Rich, always had something he just “HAD” to share with the world.

*whispers* -- I found it difficult to find babysitters for him.

Anyway back to this story. Rich could memorize and imitate movie scenes, right down to facial expressions and hand gestures. We spent most of his tender years discussing what was “inappropriate timing”, which never seemed to get through to our little comedic star.

One Sunday afternoon our family went to the local KFC for lunch. A very rare occasion as you will find out why as you read on.

The restaurant buzzed with conversation as folks getting out of church services filled the place. The louder the chatter got in the restaurant, the higher the volume got on Rich. Every experience was and continues to be an opportunity to entertain a crowd. After a couple “Mother Looks” from me, Rich turned his attention to his food and gobbled down his lunch. Now, you could set a clock to this kid’s constitution, so off he went to the washroom, after downing a glass of soda.

“No fooling around in there Rich!” I reminded him, for literally the millionth time in his life.
“NoooooOOoooo problem, Great White Mother!” he said with a salute.
I sucked in a deep breath and said a silent prayer that he would not flush himself down the toilet!

After about 10 minutes and the line up to the men’s room starting to grow in length, my red flags began flying. Then it came…….loud guttural moaning and groans bounced off the acoustic tiles in the little boy’s room! All eyes were shifting from the direction of the noise, which escalated into the sounds of an alien fighting its way out of an unsuspected host, to our table, then back to the door of the men’s room. My face must have went sheet white to brilliant red in a split second. I looked at my husband, my eyes begging him to go into that room and do the right thing! “Eat our second born!!!” My husband’s semi proud smirk nearly sent me over the edge. Then all of a sudden the sounds quit. A few snickers coming from the male patrons did nothing for my mortified ego.

Even though he had no idea, Rich had a captivated audience. Thankfully, I could hear the water running in the sink. Relieved that the little fart washed his hands after all that nasty business, I planned the “that was totally inappropriate” speech, one-----more------time. However, if I thought that little performance was embarrassing, it was nothing compared to what was about to take place.
 
Rich casually came out of the lav and all eyes were on him. He stops in the middle of the restaurant, feet planted apart in a “superhero” stance.
“Oh dear Lord, please, please, please” I begged to God.
In a big voice it comes, doing his very best Jim Carrey impression, a line from Ace Ventura Pet Detective!
“Whooooooowheeeeeee! Do…….NOT…..go in there!” he exclaimed as he waved one whole arm dramatically in front of his mid-section.

 I died a thousand deaths that day. There were little old ladies looking scornfully at the parents of this audacious child, and sympathetic laughter coming from mostly men.

As humiliating as that episode was, it is one of my favorite memories of just how interesting kids make our lives! Never a dull moment, and I just know that one day….Rich….will have kids of his own and what goes around always comes around!  :)

Are we sowing weeds and expecting Daisies to grow?

As the years go by and I reflect on my journey as a Christian I have noticed a number of really big changes in my view of ‘when bad things happen’, or big disappointments in life and what God has to do with or not do with it.  We live in a society today that lives like there is no God, yet blame this nonexistent deity when their world comes apart.  Then on the other hand you have Christians that will speak platitudes about disappointments being God’s way of saying be patient something better is on the way.  But is that truth?  Sometimes we are going to be disappointed and there is nothing better on its way.  But isn’t that just life?

 

As children we could not help but be self consumed, it is the nature of children to think about themselves and what will bring them the most happiness.  But as we grow up our parents, teachers and community at large hopefully direct us into a much broader view of where happiness comes from.  If we are fortunate we are taught just how much joy can come from bringing happiness to another human being.  As an adult we hopefully mature into a person that sees the value in what we contribute rather than what we are taking out of life.  If we are blessed to have children of our own we are given the most precious of tasks to raise up a child to know that it is “not” all about them and what they want and why!  But rather what it is that they can contribute to the world around them and the satisfaction that is found in contribution.

 

This is not the way of things today; we have diverged from helping shape young people into healthy contributors to society to wasters of time, money and education.  Our school systems will not fail children or give them grades because that might wound their self esteem.    We have a justice system that will not seriously punish a young person, because one bad decision does not a bad person make.  Perhaps that is so, but the decision to not have serious consequences for serious crime is proving over and over again that it makes bad people out of potentially good kids.  

As the world is falling apart and disappointment is meeting us head on we would be wise to consider the choices that have led up to the moment of impact.  Saying that there is no God and then blaming him for your heartbreak is for the lack of a better word, foolish!  No less foolish is the one who grapples for comfort when they are disappointed by saying that God has something better on the way.

   

We reap what we sow in life;  the truth of that proverb is startling and it should compel us to take account of the seeds we choose to cast into the wind.

When you marry your bestfriend ........

Twenty-seven years ago today I married my best friend.  Yes, I walked down that church isle and I quickly considered all of what this was going to mean for me, for us.  The truth is I was terrified and I believed it was obvious to everyone that showed up to that tiny church that day.  My flowers shook as my hands trembled and all I could do was look at my 'almost husband' and hope that I was doing the right thing.  I was not worried so much about me, it was him that I was really worried for.  I believed in my heart that he could have done much better than I for a life partner.  He was my best friend and I had put him through the wringer for those 5 years that we dated and still there he was standing proud and beautiful in his white tuxedo ready to vow to love me forever.  And, there I stood not feeling worthy of that love.

What brought me to that moment in time is a story that needs to be told another time.  However, fast forward twenty-seven years and I can tell you I am worthy of that love.  I know this because I believe I was hand picked by God for my husband and he was hand picked by God for me.  The longer I am in relationship with anyone, the more I understand that we are put in each others lives for a reason.  My husband was given to me for a reason, he has cherished my heart through some of my most darkest moments and he has shared in the joy in the most brightest of days.   We have literally grown up together and we have raised three amazing children into adulthood together as well.  I am married to my very best friend who I know has my best interest at heart even when it doesn't always feel that way.  I trust his intentions always, and believe in the integrity of the love he has for me. 

I am married to my best friend ..........

Needing adjustment

The global situation is one that I find near impossible to comprehend.  I live in a safe, economically thriving part of the world and I have caught myself ready to complain about the most insignificant of situations.

Meanwhile, somewhere far, far away, blood is being spilled on parched ground as mothers cry uncontrolled tears for the loss of life, their beloved have been exterminated and they too may come to the same end. Before that same blood has seeped deep into the dust and that same dust has hidden completely this enemy's bold intention to horrify all of mankind with its cruelty; it is more telling and cruel that the world itself sits idly by, seemingly unmoved, unshaken by what is taking place.

Suddenly the terrible traffic on my highway to town is merely an inconvenience.  The price of fuel, the bad Internet connection and the horrible selection of fresh fruit and vegetables in the local grocery all seem very futile.  In my mind I hear those mothers cry and I want desperately to reach out and pull them into my arms and hold them.  My first world troubles seem foolish and I am ashamed.

Father may the world be shaken by your mighty hand.  Father reveal yourself to those who are seeking your face so that they would not be afraid but instead confident in your promises.  You are the Alpha and the Omega, you alone know the beginning and the end of all things, may your mercy be felt in the trembling hearts that are unsure of what they have always believed.  Make your way known to them that have not heard, and remind those that have heard but have not chosen. Father quicken apathetic hearts that the prayers of your saints would be set against the enemy and all forces of evil that would try to steal what is not for the taking would be left powerless.  In the name of your precious Son, Jesus.  Amen